thus making me awesome and them whores
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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