drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
