what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
