sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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