I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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