Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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