oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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