well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
