when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
