cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
