is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
