I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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