Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
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The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder