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Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
someone owes me an orgasm
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
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