So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Everything about him screamed your future.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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