and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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