She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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