I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We have started to decorate penises.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
