The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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