I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize