Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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