it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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