It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
