About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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