I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
