My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
