so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
