So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
