Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
