Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
