My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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