We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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