i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
