Small penises have feelings too.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
