Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he was CRYING into my vagina
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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