Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
