doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
