I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice