tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream