OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
