there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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