Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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