apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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