Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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