I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
