would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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