And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
