It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
