PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
