i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His hands were made for my vagina.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize