dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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