I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize