id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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