Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Vodka?
Forever.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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