Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
