This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
