Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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