Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
