I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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