the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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