But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think I died a long time ago.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
