we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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