i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
