so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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