We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
