Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize