he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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