I showed him my bush... on skype.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
